Lee had her arms folded up as she stared at me.Clint stepped before me. I swallowed, my throat burning, and looked up at him. I stared into his dark eyes. My stomach twisted. My breath quickened. I could see the pain in his eyes. I hurt him so badly.“I ... I...” I started to say.“This is my fault,” Clint repeated. “I haven’t paid enough attention to you. You are my queen, and I forgot that.”My guilt only swelled. Now he was blaming himself? “That doesn’t excuse what I did. I ... I...”“No, it doesn’t,” he said, his voice strong. “But I can’t ignore how I’ve behaved. I allowed myself to get distracted by all these women. I was having fun and neglecting you. If I was doing my job as your lover, if I was giving you what you needed, then you wouldn’t have had to play your game. We both fucked up. I have to own that.”“I fucked up more,” I said. His candor ... It made me feel like I had to tell him everything. “I led Tim on. I didn’t mean to, but ... It was so obvious now. I was practically. Just here, darling. Just for fun. Just for mommy. To make her happy. Please, honey? I'd love to see how you'd look. I bet you'd be darling."I paused. All at once mother's smile was replaced by a severe scowl. She closed the tube of lipstick and placed it on the vanity."Well," she huffed, "if you don't want to please your mother, you can go live with someone else. Or go to an orphanage. But I want you out of my room. I don't want to have anything to do with a boy who doesn't love his mother enough to play a harmless little game with her. Tomorrow I want you out of my house. You can find someplace else to live or I'll put you up for adoption."I was scared -- really scared! This time it sounded as if she really meant it. So I quickly changed my tune."I was just kidding, mommy," I said, "just kidding. I'd like to try lipstick. Honest, I would. It would be fun." Hoping to make amends, I then added, "And maybe some nail polish too. Could I, mommy? Try nail polish? Just this once?"Mother's.
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